Helping someone can be awkward. You don’t know what to say or do. You question your motives or whether you should get involved at all. Being a friend is about being there. Almost like a marriage: in sickness and in health; in good times and bad. That is how one should be with a true friend. It’s a difficult task.
My friend is in a dark place. Her life is shattered in many ways. The reasons are many and it happened over a very long time. I learned tonight that she is in need of professional help. She’s barely getting through a day. I can feel her pain. There is not much I can do – except just be there. I;ve been doing a lot of listening, but I realize her problems are so complex that I can;t begin to really be of any productive help. She feels alone and lost.
I know deep inside, she’ll find that place where she was long ago when she was a strong, vibrant person with love and laughter in her heart. She has lost that person. Perhaps with the right help, she’ll rediscover who she is and start anew.
I wish I could have helped her more a long time ago; but I did not know the trauma she was experiencing. I wonder if I was truly her friend because I did not know her pain. Some things are so deep, we do not share them even with the closest of friends. In sickness and health; in good times and bad. I will be there for her on the other side of her pain.
Everyone has different pain tolerance. Everyone has a different ‘ick’ factor-level. Yesterday, someone plucked off a strange-looking, long-legged bug from my pant leg. My ick-factor level was at maybe 2. My mother-in-law goes to the dentist for extensive work and doesn’t get numb. God bless her. I am white-knuckled at the site of a dental drill.
I fell down two steps while on vacation a couple of years ago and I thought my head was going to explode. I can’t even imagine the pain suffered in a spill like that. These world-class athletes are wired with adrenalin. They get high on the competition; the rush of the event and succeeding. However, there are sports psychologists who make (I’m sure) an excellent living listening and talking these athletes back to their competitive levels after a horrible injury. While many mount a successful comeback, so many do not. That must be crushing. But oh, the thrill and the joy they had during their successes. No pain – no gain. Heck, I could do without the pain.