Helping someone can be awkward. You don’t know what to say or do. You question your motives or whether you should get involved at all. Being a friend is about being there. Almost like a marriage: in sickness and in health; in good times and bad. That is how one should be with a true friend. It’s a difficult task.
My friend is in a dark place. Her life is shattered in many ways. The reasons are many and it happened over a very long time. I learned tonight that she is in need of professional help. She’s barely getting through a day. I can feel her pain. There is not much I can do – except just be there. I;ve been doing a lot of listening, but I realize her problems are so complex that I can;t begin to really be of any productive help. She feels alone and lost.
I know deep inside, she’ll find that place where she was long ago when she was a strong, vibrant person with love and laughter in her heart. She has lost that person. Perhaps with the right help, she’ll rediscover who she is and start anew.
I wish I could have helped her more a long time ago; but I did not know the trauma she was experiencing. I wonder if I was truly her friend because I did not know her pain. Some things are so deep, we do not share them even with the closest of friends. In sickness and health; in good times and bad. I will be there for her on the other side of her pain.
Everyone has different pain tolerance. Everyone has a different ‘ick’ factor-level. Yesterday, someone plucked off a strange-looking, long-legged bug from my pant leg. My ick-factor level was at maybe 2. My mother-in-law goes to the dentist for extensive work and doesn’t get numb. God bless her. I am white-knuckled at the site of a dental drill.
Today, world champion downhill skier Lindsey Vonn crashed during her first Super-G run at an event in Austria. These world-class athletes spend their lives training, re-training, suffering and healing. They are wired to perform. What’s amazing about this spectacular fall is that the woman is barely in the hospital and the writers are already saying she’ll return for the 2013-14 skiing season.
I fell down two steps while on vacation a couple of years ago and I thought my head was going to explode. I can’t even imagine the pain suffered in a spill like that. These world-class athletes are wired with adrenalin. They get high on the competition; the rush of the event and succeeding. However, there are sports psychologists who make (I’m sure) an excellent living listening and talking these athletes back to their competitive levels after a horrible injury. While many mount a successful comeback, so many do not. That must be crushing. But oh, the thrill and the joy they had during their successes. No pain – no gain. Heck, I could do without the pain.