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The Wolfeboro Project: Survival Tips
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The Wolfeboro Project: Survival Tips

When you take on a new house project – especially a fixer – your tip list grows quickly. Despite bouts of fear and sticker-shock, we are still on the road to a home we already love in a town we are quickly growing more and more attached to.

Let’s get right to the tips – based on our missteps, lessons learned and a sprinkling of luck.

  1. Three Ps remain the mantra: patience, persistence and perspective – making measured, informed  decisions result in the project moving along at a pace that works with your budget and schedule. Trust your gut – if you have a shadow of a doubt on a decision, think it through again.
  2. Stick to the plan: we decided to work on this house from the outside-in. While we continue to talk about the ultimate interior renovations, other than some paint and a few window treatments, we are not planning a major investment on the interior until the outside is in shape – or close to it.
  3. Under-play your fixer – your family will be pleasantly surprised. We have told our families that we have a lot of work ahead; deferred maintenance are the words the Realtors used in describing the house (former owned didn’t do much at all to improve or even maintain the house). When our families visited the house this past month, they practically scolded us for describing the house as we have. They, too see the possibilities and  good bones of the house. Their collective responses amount to, “You made the house sound awful; it’s really lovely.” Of course, it’s not their project – but it is good to know we are not crazy and we have their support!
  4. Small-town, small steps. Figure out your possible DIY projects. In a small town – or any town – you can find someone to do anything for you – but you will pay in time and of course, money. Getting on a contractor’s small-town schedule takes finesse; be flexible and communicate with each contractor.
  5. Be specific: when  dealing with your contractor’s estimate continue to do research and ask people for help and advice. Doug reached out to his brother for advice since he had done major remodeling; we compared and contrasted details in estimates and asked contractors to provide more details. Be sure you have a timeline – or at least a finish date. Your two month-long project can stretch to months and months if you do not stay on top of details.
  6. Don’t be afraid to say, “No:”we nixed one project one of our contractors quoted because of price and the cross-over with another project and contractor. When in doubt put the brakes on.
  7. BREATHE: remember why you started this journey. Every day I love and enjoy this house and this town more. Every little DIY task or decision leads us to what will become our very special place. We continue to enjoy the lake, hiking, biking, boating. water-skiing, sailing; town concerts and cultural events; the local gym and shops; amazing lobster, ice cream and food that just tastes better here; getting to know people in town and spending time with them and becoming part of this community.

Those are seven tips for now; there are probably many more to come. With a full month under our belts here, we are heading back to our other home shortly. That will bring the inevitable culture shock (I haven’t waited a traffic light or been in a traffic jam for weeks!). We have a better idea of what to expect at this Happy Place; we have some big projects coming up at this house and we’ll be popping up for brief stays throughout the coming months. Being on this journey with an amazing husband and great family and friend support leaves me content and ever-hopeful of what this home will be in a few years.

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My Prerogative

Bobby Brown made “My Prerogative” a huge hit in the 80’s. Then there was the whole Whitney Houston marriage debacle and well, you know how it ended. Not pretty. The point is, we rise; we fall. For most of us who lead lives that do not warrant celebrity status, we survive the falls and learn from them.

pistoriusNow, Oscar Pistorious, who probably gets the 2013 award (so far) for how the mighty fall, is out of jail on bail. His next hearing is JUNE. Do you believe it will take five months for the next hearing to take place in this case? Guaranteed, come June, we’ll see more courtroom photos and video of the prized Olympic fallen star weeping into his hands. Guilty or not, somehow, he’ll come through this terrible tragedy.

For you and I, we trip over ourselves; screw up and with absolutely no fanfare, pick ourselves up and start all over again (strike up the band). Mundane dilemmas such as losing the cell phone and finding it again; then Verizon messing up and deactivating your found cell phone. Test results showing no, your hip replacement device is not lethal – just not yet – you’ll have to wait a while to see if it becomes lethal. These are the things that on some level – you and I deal with every day. No one notices; the cameras do not roll and our lives go on.

I talked to a neighbor today who has ripped the ACLs in both knees and one meniscus. She’s going through some painful physical therapy but knows she’ll have to have surgery on both knees at some point. We live in limbo week-to-week. We just don’t know what good and bad will come of just about anything we do.

The good news is – most of us are survivors. We pick ourselves up; dust ourselves off and simply move on. And that my friends is how our lives are meant to be. No cameras; no You Tube; no recording. We live and learn – and move on. My prerogative is to be sad and frustrated and then get over it on my own terms and hope that everyone around me understands. And if they don’t – well, life will indeed go on.